Loy Krathong

We have entered month 2 of custody of Norah, and things are really notching into normal life, well, I suppose I can say "new normal".  She is delightful, and is totally a Blackwell!  We attended Loy Krathong festival yesterday, where we met the other KC Thai families at Loose Park to release Krathongs into the pond, and light flying lanterns.  It was great to let Norah meet some other Thai children, and get a little Thai culture:)  Krathongs are floating decorations made out of banana leaves and flowers, and are sent afloat with candles and incense on them, giving thanks to water gods.  It also means that you are letting go of any negative feelings or judgements you've held onto over the last year, and releasing them.  Since we don't love a water god, we are saying "thank you to the God who MADE the water, and thank you for our daughter!!"  Our krathong was thrown together last min, and made of construction paper and cardboard!!  Guess who's krathong was least authentic in the group??  BINGO!  But hey, it was fun:)  It caught fire almost immediately, and was gone in 30 seconds!  Give me at least a year, until next Loy Krathong, and I'll have more energy to chop down a banana tree and do origami with it. 

Norah is learning all sorts of new things, and is comprehending an unbelievable amount of language!  She has learned NO, can you believe it!!?  Oh yes, it's the first word every child learns...  And her new favorite food is ketchup.  She loves it and when I point to snacks or a meal choice for her, she shakes her head no, until I point to the ketchup!  It's all she wants!  So I convinced her to at least dip it in crackers:)  Her comprehension of what we say is remarkable!  Just a month ago she only heard and understood Thai.  I can say, "Norah, go get your shoes", or "Norah give this toy to Sam" and she will do it!  And loads of other things too!  She wants to play tea party with her dolls daily.  Today we were playing with her hair bows, and she put one on her hello kitty doll, and laughed and laughed!  Pretty soon all her dolls were wearing her bows and having tea:)  My heart is so full with love for her.  She still loves loves her dad the most, and I am yet to get a kiss from her, but every day it feels like she connects a little bit more to me.  It feels great:)

One month!!

We have had custody of Norah for one month and 2 days.  Truly amazing how it feels like forever, but so short!  I can say with honest sincerity, that it has been amazing!  She has really taken to our family, and every day is easier!  She is totally in love with David, and is 100% daddy's girl:)  His heart melts for her, and he is loving every minute of it.  Of course, he can get nothing done, because she wants to be with him 24-7.  Her attachment to Sam has been terrific, and I would say to me is pretty good too.  We still are praying for a better friendship between her and Will, that has been a difficult relationship so far.  She seems to feel terribly threatened by him, and freaks when we show Will love and attention.  She lashes out at him often, and he is seeming to get the brunt of her aggression.  Sometimes they get on just fine, but she mostly has an offense toward him.  His personality is to bounce back and not be too bothered by her animosity, but he is feeling it.  Of course, Will is a silly fellow, and likes to joke and tease her, which does not help.  Ever.  So we are finding ourselves having to discipline Will quite often regarding Norah, and he is already feeling a little displaced in the family... it's been hard for everyone.  Please continue to pray for our little guy!  I am feeling for him.  We are all adjusting.  He is too, big time. 
When David is around, and Norah has the option of both parents, she is all over David, but when it's just her and I, she is great and has no problem.  I was reading in an adoption parenting book the other night (after many a melt downs...) at normal behavior and cues for trouble, and it gave a list of "signs your child is adjusting to the family", and she fit the bill for the whole list!  It was really encouraging to see that even after one month, she is feeling more comfy at home and with us. 

She has been sleeping SO much better!!  I think after adjusting fully to the time, we really turned a corner.  She has been sleeping in her own bed, and even got in on her own the other night!  She laid there, and I asked, "do you want to go to bed"?  She nodded yes, and let me change her out of her clothes, and get a bottle!  Down she went.  It was great.  She still is waking in the night, but no longer needing to be carried around the house.  Dave usually rocks her, sitting or lying down.  She settles now if we bring her in bed with us, so that's been most nights.  We are more rested, so more ready to take on the days. 

 

Halloween was really fun:)  James, Sarah, Sophie and Emma just arrived home from Wales that evening, so they met Norah, and we went trick-or treating together!  Norah LOVED it once she figured out what it was all about:)  Before we left, I had Norah dressed in a super cute Indian costume, but she would not keep in the braids.  She looked JUST like an Indian!  As you can see, her and Will got into a little mud puddle mischief, and that costume was ruined!!  (No, I was not watching my kids...)  So we changed to a pioneer:)  Candy went into a common bag and we all share it now, and 3 candy bags are significantly better and more than two!!:) 
I found myself crying today when a friend asked how it was going, and how the transition has been.  I was overcome with emotion at how grateful I am to have Norah.  She is so incredible and brave, and I admire her in so many ways!

One Week In

We have been home one week now, and how are we doing??  If you ask in the middle of the night, I would cry and say "Oh man this is so hard!!"  But if you ask in the middle of the day when we have had naps, our answer would be much different!:)  Lack of sleep and the demands of a 25lb. 2year old in the wee hours takes a toll on even the strongest of folks.  And Dave and I are feeling the strain in our arms, backs, and spirits.  It is hard carrying Norah around all night long!  We are doing very well, otherwise, and Norah is adjusting to the time and her new family famously.  A few people have told us that it takes one day for every hour of time change to get back on schedule.   Every day has been easier than the last, so I expect that is true!  We have also learned that anxiety will wake her at night, and she is learning her new home.  She wants to know that everything is where it was the day before.  There have been many midnight searches through the kitchen cupboards to find that the ramen and rice noodles are still in their respective locations! 
This girl LOVES her noodles!  She wants them two meals a day.  She holds onto the package for dear life while waiting for the water to boil, and she kissed the pack of noodles the other day:)  Anything familiar that she can claim is helpful for her.

Sam and Will have been incredible with her!  She has learned how to say Phee Sam, Phee Will, Mommy and Daddy.  Phee is Thai for Brother:)  Also she has learned how to say on, off, hot, and crocadile!  It was so funny.  She has gotten a little more comfortable with the other kids in the neighborhood, and likes riding her trike on the Cox's driveway with the other kids, and was even pushing some of them down the slide.  It takes her awhile to warm to all the new people, but again, each day has been easier than the last.

We are HOME!!

We made it!  We have been home since yesterday afternoon, and are adjusting to the new time, and new family dynamics:)  The journey home began with a taxi mix-up.  We were meant to reserve a van-sized taxi for our airport transportation a few days in advance, and failed to get that memo.  The hotel staff told us we would need to get two taxis to hold all of our stuff.  So we got two taxis, and the hotel staff told them to take us to the airport, and off we went.  The Bangkok traffic and crazy driving of the two taxi men found us seperated from one another within 3 min, and I was utterly terrified and unequiped to do anything about it!  I had no money, cell phone, or anything to communicate with the driver, and prayed the whole time he knew what to do, because for all I know, he could be the bone collector and take me and my new daughter off to the slaughter!  He kept talking to me in Thai and asking me questions.  I just hoped that Dave and Sam would make it to the airport before us, so he could pay my driver!  (How would I explain that one to him, not having any $$?)  Anyway, I am clearly still alive, so we know the end of the story... all worked itself out.  Dave and Sam were on the curb waiting for us, taxi man got paid, and we all breathed a huge sigh of relief! 
Everyone says the flight home is terrible with a newly adopted child.  How do you get ready for something like that?  Norah does not like to sit still, and when she does, she usually wants us to hold her standing up.  Thankfully she slept the full flight from Bangkok to Tokyo, so we had no issues.  BUT... Tokyo to Chicago, the 10 hour leg, was a much different story.  The plane would not leave the gate until she was strapped into a seatbelt, and we had to hold her on both sides while she screamed bloody murder for 20 min!!  The whole taxi and take off, and not until the seat belt sign was off could we even stand up with her.  I swear we, along with everyone within 30 rows of us were traumatized.  I was super angry at the sweet, smiling flight attendant who thanked us for "our cooperation with complying with FAA guidelines"... We spent most of those ten hours pacing the aisles and apologizing to everyone.  Sleep did come in spurts, and we were praising the Lord that one of the spurts came as we landed, because Lord knows we were dreading that fasten seat belt sign! 
We decided Norah's first American food should be a Chicago hot dog:)  So there we sat, on the floor in terminal C of O'Hare, enjoiyng the best hot dogs ever!  She loved it, and her dad was so proud.  The last leg to KC was a breeze.  The flight attendant let her sit on my lap and she didn't make a peep.  Again, still a little mad at the sweet Japaneese lady...  Her and her rules.
We were greeted by our sweet William and Faith and Bryan at the airport!  It was a sweet homecoming!  The rest of the day was a haze, as we were all so tired.  Ruth and Chuck, and Great Grandparents came over, as well as the neighbors to meet our sweet Norah.  It was a lot for her to take in, but after a meal and seeing the kids all play together, she joined in and loosened up a little.  She warmed to Will quickly.  He loves her, and at one point, after she threw something down the stairs, laughed at her and said, "oh my gosh!  She's just like me!" 
At this point, we are fiercely fighting jet lag, an adjusting toddler, and we just want some sleep and a routine.  It will come.  We were up every hour last night with her, and feeding her whatever she liked in the cupboards.  She was so curious, and probably comfort eating, but oh well... she had eggs and other snacks at 4, eggs and more snacks at 5, and then finally found the Thai noodles for another breakfast at 6!  We are praying for a later start to tomorrow morning:)

 

The pic on the top is Norah holding her Thai flag, and Will is putting a necklace on her, and the lower one is our first family of 5 photo in the airport!

 

Markets!!

I don't know if the video will work or not... but it is of Norah and Sam dancing to her "Chang Chang" elephant song:)  Super cute!  We went to the fruit and food market today, thinking it was like all the rest we have seen.  We wanted to get some interesting fruits to try.  It ended up being a SUPER intense market, for bulk buying fruits, veggies, and any meat or fish you can imagine!  It was crazy.  We felt totally out of our league.  We ended up buying mangosteens, leechies, a bumpy green and brown fruit that is white inside ( I think I had the same thing in Hawaii, but don't remember it's name) and another one that looked like grapes on a vine, but they were brown and you had to peel them... everything was great:)  But since we had to buy lots of the fruit at once, we have a fridge full here that we will gift to the hotel staff when we leave tomorrow!  We were looking for food to eat while we were there, but clearly this was not the place for that.  I ended up finding one vendor selling fried chicken, amongst the flopping fish and pig heads.  (YEAH, pig heads!!)  After Dave AND Sam saw rats running around, we decided to get outta there.  We took a Tuk Tuk back to the hotel.  It was so fun, and Norah laughed and laughed the whole time:) 
She is doing much better with me today.  I think I am going to have to see this whole bonding process as a day-to-day pursuit, and even hour to hour.  My heart is in a much better place than it was the last two days, and I feel renewed in my spirit!  Thanks for everyone praying for us.
We ended our day with going shopping and to dinner.   Tomorrow we leave.  We have one more day to soak in Norah's city and culture!

Feeling encouraged!

  We skyped with Will today, and it was very hard for me because I miss him so much.  I had a mini breakdown this morning after we skyped him.  He was so sweet and encouraged me to not be so sad!  He is having a great time with friends, and for that I am very happy for him, and more than grateful for those caring for him while we are gone.  This whole process is not for the faint of heart.  Norah has been incredible, and so very brave.  Along with the transition into our family comes some hard emotions, but I did not realize they would be coming from my side so strongly.  I think the reality of how drastically our lives will change is hitting me, along with being extremely tired... She is going through it too, and I can't imagine the thoughts in her little mind!  I really think her hives yesterday were probably stress -induced, as they did not have an explanation. 
Anyway, the reality of our transition and being overwhelmed with fear and tired-ness blew up in my soul this morning.  After a good cry and a nap, and inviting the Lord to yet again speak truth into my heart, I can say thankfully, I am in a much better place!!  It was as if something switched on, and my fear and worry took a back seat to what God says is true about me.  About Norah.  About what is true about adoption and why he has gifted our family this precious girl!
We went to the Alligator Park today and had a great time, even in the blazing heat!  Norah's demeanor has increasingly been more relaxed with us.  It's so fun to watch her light up and have fun!

We laughed alot today, and I am rejoicing in the Father's good good gift of cute little Norah.  I know this journey has ups and downs.  I am just encouraged that there is always another up after the next "down"!
I tried durien today for the first time!  It's nicknamed the "stinky fruit", and there are even signs on some business's and hotel doors to not bring it in, or you will be fined!  LOL!  Well, let me confirm, it was disgusting.  It does stink, but the worst is the nastiest mushy consistency EVER... I just had to try it for the experience:)  It was on my "things to do in Thailand" list.

Low key day

We had a pretty low key day today.  We really wanted to get some gifts at the weekend market, and since it's Sunday, this was our last chance!  We braved it again for another shot at some deals.  We got there early, so there really was not too many people there.  We bumped into a couple from France who adopted a little girl last week as well!  It was nice chatting with them. 
Norah has seemed a little better with me today, but is still all about her dad.  I actually really love that it's him she is most secure with.  It really is a picture of the Father adopting us into His family.  What is making me break down is the intensity of missing Will, who is my sweet affectionate boy, and trying to not take Norah's rejection personal.  I have loved this girl for a year in my heart.  Logic and reason tell me this is normal, do not worry, she will eventually love me.  It's just hard right now.  We are missing home.
We think she had some sort of allergic reaction today.  Norah had a 2+ hour nap this afternoon, and woke up with hives all over her leg.  They went away, but we have no idea of the cause.  We found some benedryl at the store, but the rash was gone before we even gave it, so oh well... the benedryl will probably be of much help on the flight home!
We have been entertaining her with a youtube Thai Elephant song that she loves!

I am trying to upload the video of her and Sam dancing, but I don't think it's working... sorry folks.  Maybe I'll try again tomorrow!!