In November we had a surprise pregnancy!! I had a thousand emotions around it, but in the beginning I was very thrown off guard, because this means our dreams of adoption would not happen. Thailand allows only 2 children in a family for parents to be eligible for their program.
Our daughter Joy, sadly did not live. I had the honor of carrying her for 8 mos before she went to be with Jesus. We felt the Lord tell us VERY clearly to name her Joy. She would be a joy to The Father and to our family. I learned a lot about the meaning of true joy, and that it is not dependent on our circumstance. It is only found in the crazy peace and hope offered in Jesus. I will see my daughter again, and the blissful introduction a mother has with her child at birth has not been stolen from me... just delayed.
We grieved deeply for Joy. We still grieve. We made her room into a quiet place to retreat. To pray and be quiet. We bought furniture to outfit it for a serene space, and it is still the prettiest room in our home! We call it our "Joy room". It will be Norah's room when she comes.
In the months following Joy's death, we had some of the most amazing and memorable moments as our family of 4. After a few months, we opened the adoption conversation again. I knew it was going to be a long process, and my heart was starting to heal.
So as we see it, we gave our daughter Joy the gift of life in heaven, and she is giving another child the gift of family.
